Hell and Back
by revxlutixn
Summary: All Chloe Foster wants to do is wrestle. At the age of 19, that was put on hold due to medical issues. Follow her journey post-surgery and now at the age of 24 as she enters the WWE as Lacey Winter. Now that she's back in the ring, will she be able to remain happy? [Trigger Warnings]
1. Chloe Foster

**A/N : This story will include certain words and actions that might act as a trigger warning for some people. Subjects included in this story are physical, mental and emotional abuse, self-injurious behavior, drug use/abuse, talk of death/suicide. Do not read if you are in any way uncomfortable with these topics listed.**

**Reviews on thoughts and suggestions on how to add to the story are always appreciated. Thank you and enjoy reading!**

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><p><em>"It was the heaviest rain I ever felt on my skin. It was the heaviest place that I have ever been in. As the walls crashed down, I felt it slip away 'cause I went to hell and back just to be where I am today."<br>_

- Tonight Alive ; **Hell and Back**

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><p>Hello!<p>

My name is Chloe Lynn Foster. I was born on April 9, 1990 in Boston, Massachusetts. I am 5'6'' and currently 24 years of age. I have long platinum blonde hair and dark brown eyes. I am the second and last child to parents Amy and Jonathan Foster.

Mason - my older brother - and I are inseparable. We can't go a day without either seeing or talking to each other. He knows me better than I know myself and I know him better than he knows himself. We have a bond that I don't find any interest in sharing with another person.

For the most part, I am very sweet, caring and humble and happy. I say "for the most part" due to the fact that that is only one side of me. The good one. The one I wish I could stay as. There is another side of me. The bad one. The one I wish that I never became.

I don't like this side. This "bad" side of me is filled with my illnesses. One of them being my anger issues that I deal with. I really don't like this. Most of the time, this makes me such an awful person to be around. You could say something and I would take it another way and scream and yell about it. I have lost many relationships due to this. Lately I have been noticing that I have been isolating myself from most people because of my anger issues. I don't want to. It _kills_ me to not want people in my life.

Another part of my "bad" side...there is no way to make it sound cute. It's not cute. I'm depressed. There are some days when I feel like I have no reason to get up and out of bed in the mornings. I will find times in my day where I am all alone to cry out. I don't know why this was happening to me. I never thought that I deserved it. I already thought that I went through enough. I have had plenty of thoughts about suicide as well.

I like to tell people the only reason I am here is because of wrestling. It's true, it is. I remember when I first found the sport. It was a snowy, cold January night in the year of 2003.

I was going through all the channels on the TV when suddenly I felt an incredibly sharp pain in my chest. This wasn't new to me as this has been happening about once or twice every other month since the day I turned four. I threw the remote down, dropped to my knees and placed my hand over the part of my chest that was currently in pain. With every second that passed, the pain increased.

I have never been one to admit any sort of pain, though. It's not that I want the people around me to think that I am some sort of superhuman. It's because I never thought that I mattered enough. I always felt uncomfortable, conceited and thought I sounded too full of myself when talking about myself no matter the subject.

I never told anyone about my recurring chest pains. Maybe because of that whole "I don't think I matter enough" stuff or maybe it was because I never know how to start conversation. I really didn't think that coming up to my parents and telling them how every month or so my chest is in too much pain and sometimes it feels like i'm dying. I don't know, that didn't just sound right to me.

Once I thought that the pain became unbearable, it had stopped.

Very slowly, I got up. I picked up the remote off the floor, regrouped myself on my bed, looked at the TV and dropped the remote. Wrestling was on the TV and for some reason, I was enthralled. I was entranced.

I don't know how to explain it but I was so interested. Maybe it was characters. Maybe it was the promos. Maybe it was the incredible moves. Whatever it was, it greatly peeked my interest.

I begun to train in the sport myself later that year. I was always the first one in the building, and was always the last one out. I wanted to do this. I wanted to be a wrestler.

By the age of 15, I began wresting in matches in an old, abandoned, small, run down and barely lit building a few minutes outside of Boston. Not that many people performed there and not that many people showed up every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday night at 7:30 to 8:30. I still had the time of my life, regardless.

My finishing move was applied facing my opponent. I would pull them towards me, grab their right arm, put it behind me, pulled their head down and gave them a quick knee to the chin. This would send them down on the mat onto their back. I fell with them, keeping my knee in place, now under their chin.

My ring name was Lacey Winter. She was very...disturbed. Lacey was scary, insane, crazy and unpredictable. Most of all, she was...angry, just like myself.

Right after a match one nice and cool summer Thursday night at the age of 19, it happened again. My chest flooded with pain. This was not like the other thousands of times this had happened. This was painful. This was too painful. So painful that I had no choice but to tell people about it. I was screaming for somebodies help and that was the last thing I remembered before I fell to the ground.

When I had woken up many hours later, I was lying down in a hospital bed. A very tall and older man with short and straight brown hair with few white hairs showing approached me. He was my doctor. Dr. Nathan Smith. There, he would inform me that I had an enlarged heart and that was the cause of all my recurring chest pains. I was pretty shocked about this, to be honest. Maybe this was because I never liked talking about myself and maybe it didn't, but I never bothered to get a chest x-ray. For some stupid reason, 4 year old Chloe honestly thought that those chest pains were normal and this stuck with her for the rest of her life. Dr. Smith managed to get a good picture of my heart when I was in a coma.

Due to my enlarged heart, I would be forced to quit wrestling. The only way that I could compete again was after surgery. This kind of surgery was very difficult for me. I sat on the waiting list. I would check up with Dr. Smith every month and he would tell me the same old things. He just told me how I can't be too active, how I need to avoid eating and consuming certain things, how I need lots of sleep, how I am not moving anywhere on the waiting list, and how because of that, my chances of dying increased daily.

I would go to the ring a week later and announce my leaving to all those who were in attendance that night. I remembered how much and how hysterically I cried. I remembered how hard it was for me to leave the ring that night. I remember thinking that that was the end.

Only 4 years into it. I wanted to do so much more.

I was convinced that this was the end.

I was wrong.


	2. May 13, 2011

_"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."_

- Dale Carnegie

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><p>It was May 13, 2011. It was around 3 when I began to drive to Dr. Smith's office. I was called in earlier that day for an "important check-up."<p>

Now I knew what this was going to be. Dr. Smith would tell me that i'm dying. When didn't he? Every day, I was aware that my condition was getting worse. I would never move up on that damn waiting list and in fact, there were some circumstances where I would get moved down.

About 20 minutes later and I had arrived. I entered the 3-story building and made my way to the last door on the left of the second floor. There, Dr. Smith was in conversation with his then 22 year old son and only child, Noah.

Since I have spent the majority of those past 2 to 3 years in hospitals with his father, I have heard a lot about him and we became good friends when we first met. Noah was only a bit taller and older than me. He's 5'9'' and 1 year and 7 months older than me. He had his fathers straight brown hair and his mothers beautiful and bright blue eyes. Noah is very caring, genuine, and incredibly humble. He's incredibly artistic as well. His bedroom walls were covered with his beautiful artwork. Just like the rest of his family, he will listen to every word you speak both when you're just normally talking to him and also when you're losing your mind and need someone to talk to.

I have gotten to know the whole Smith family those past years. I love them. Other than Nathan and Noah, there's the wife and mother, Laura. Laura is exactly my height and has dirty blonde hair of medium length. The whole family is very sweet, caring, and down to earth. Nathan is the clown of the family. Or at least he thinks he is. Laura and Noah are the ones who will tell him that he's not. All jokingly, though.

"Oh, come in, darling." Nathan said, motioning me to sit down next to Noah.

I did and greeted both father and son with a smile.

"So, what did you call me in here for?" I asked.

"Chloe, I have got some news for you!" he exclaimed.

"What is it?" I asked, his mannerisms made me question him.

"Well," he smiled, "do you want the good news or bad news first?" he asked.

I don't know what it was with him, Noah and Laura, but they always said that phrase! They say it way too much! Sometimes, there was either only good news or bad news, not both! This was one of those times.

I first asked him to give me the bad news only to get a blank stare and a minute of awkward silence until Nathan told me that I should have asked for the good as he didn't have any bad news to share.

"Okay then...so, what's the good news?" I asked, pretending to sound very interested for his amusement.

"Okay. The good news is that this December for Noah's 23 birthday, the whole family is taking a week vacation to Orlando!" he exclaimed.

I looked over at Noah. He was smiling and shaking his head in a "I wish I didn't know you" type of way.

"Well, i'm happy for you all. I hope you have a wonderful time," I smiled, now focusing on Mr. Smith again. "But, is that seriously all?"

"No no no, of course not." he answered.

The next few minutes were spent with Nathan stating positive information about him, his family and the world.

"Alright! Oh my god! What the hell is the good news?" I screamed out.

"Okay dear," Nathan started. "Finally! You are now off this waiting list! We are now able to fix your heart and make it how it should have been. We all know you well enough around here to know that you want to do this. I have already booked an appointment for you! Surgery will be done the 20th, exactly one week from today at 1:15." he finished.

"No." I said in shock.

"Yes!" Nathan and Noah said in unison.

"This is incredible! Thank you so much!" I shot up out of my seat and hugged both men.

I always liked receiving hugs from Noah. He's very gentle, always smells good and he sometimes plays with my hair and rubs my back. If you play with my hair at any time and rub my back while we're hugging, you must know that I am in so much love with you. I can't be in love with my doctor's son though, that just seemed too weird. Like I said, Noah is good friend.

Fortunately, surgery was a success! It took me 11 months to fully recover and once I did, I was back in that same old, abandoned and beaten down building. It looked even worse than before!

The first month back, the Smiths were at every show cheering me on. I didn't like this. No, not because they were there but because they were cheering for me! I was playing a bad guy, I don't want to be cheered! The family was just too nice to boo me! Nathan had tried to come to every show but his work had gotten in the way most nights. Laura's a journalist and Noah works at an easy going music shop that wouldn't mind him taking time off.

Nathan had shown up to my last month there. No, I didn't have to stop once again because of another heart problem. After the surgery, I was 100% fine. I had stopped performing there because in the middle of fall in 2012, I signed with the WWE. I breezed through their developmental system, NXT in a little less than two years. It was now September 2014 when I was called up to live TV.

During Brie Bella's and Stephanie McMahon's match at SummerSlam, Nikki Bella shocked the WWE Universe by turning her back on her own sister. Every Monday after that night, Nikki Bella would put Brie in matches that were impossible to win. This is what Nikki had to do thanks to Brie's quitting early in the year. Every week, Nikki would look an as Brie was either pinned or force to submit and lose those unfair matches.

The night after the Night of Champions pay per view, Nikki would go out and announce a match for later tonight. It was to be her and Eva Marie against Brie and if she couldn't find a partner to team up with, it would be a 2 on 1 handicap match. This is how I would make my main roster debut.

Nikki and Eva would enter the ring together. Then after a long pause, Brie would come out alone. She would walk all the way into the ring before she pointed back to the stage.

That was my cue.


	3. Debut

_"If you want to succeed in your life, remember this phrase: That past does not equal the future. Because you failed yesterday; or all day today; or a moment ago; or for the last six months; the last sixteen years; or the last fifty years of life, doesn't mean anything… All that matters is: What are you going to do, right now?"_

- Anthony Robbins

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><p>My music hit and I ran onto the stage.<p>

I wore a black floral print wrap bralet, burgundy shorts and brown lace up boots. For my entrance, I wore a lace sleeved moto jacket.

I walked down the ramp and slid into the ring, gave Brie a high five and a hug, then jumped up on the turnbuckle at the left side of the ring and smiled and pointed to the audience.

At the beginning of the match, all of the fans in the crowd were on their feet chanting my name.

LACEY! LACEY! LACEY!

I was tagged in to finish the match. I was on fire when I did. I took both Nikki and Eva down within seconds of stepping into the ring. Eva was the legal one in the match at this time. After I struck Nikki with an elbow that sent her down to the floor, I performed my finishing move on Eva. I pinned her and got the win.

"Hey Chloe, we're really glad you're here!" Brie said as soon as we made our way to the backstage are after the match.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"You're really talented. You have a gift for this." she said.

I was once again going to thank her but I was interrupted by someone picking me up and spinning me around from behind. It was Mason. I screamed his name in excitement, hugged both him and my parents who were right behind him. I introduced them to Brie as she was the only one around. Shortly after this, the Smiths came running in. I pulled Nathan and Laura in for a hug. Then, I gave Noah a separate one.

Another thing that I love about receiving hugs from Noah was how he puts his hands around my waist if he wasn't playing with my hair or rubbing my back. We would both smile at each other when we pulled away.

_No!_ I thought to myself. _Step 1 : Do not fall in love with your doctors son!_

"Brie, this is my doctor, Nathan Smith, his wife Laura, and their son, Noah." I said, pointing to them in that order, once again smiling when I got to Noah.

_Chloe, STEP 1! _I screamed in my head.

Brie introduced herself to them and then we spent about 5 minutes together. When those 5 minutes were up, both my family and the Smith family walked back to their seats near the front of the ring. There was about another hour and a half left of the show.

"So...you and Noah... you're very close?" Brie questioned.

"Yes. We are." I responded.

Brie smiled at me. It grew quiet for a few seconds and then I knew what she meant by asking me that question.

"No, not that way!" I screamed out.

Brie smiled once again.

"We are very good friends." I said.

Brie nodded almost sarcastically. "Okay, Chloe. It just didn't seem so with that hug."

"What? I like hugs!" I exclaimed, reaching my hands out in front of Brie. She grabbed them and put them down to my sides.

"Whatever. I gotta go. I'll see you soon." she said as she walked off.

My mind was racing as I started to walk to the Divas locker room. I started thinking about Noah. Yes I liked him, maybe even...y'know like _like like_ him. Though it's not like I know how he feels about me. If I told him how I felt about him and he didn't feel the same, that might ruin our relationship. I wouldn't want this to happen not only because every doctors appointment after that would feel fairly uncomfortable, but also because I don't want to lose a friend like Noah.

Half way on my walk, I had gotten my mind off of him. I began thinking about how I just performed in my first match on WWE TV. It was incredible, though it felt like it went by way too fast. This was well worth all the pain I have been through these past few years. Pain that included the long and hard hours spent on training and just my heart problem in general.

Thankfully, because of surgery, I am now 100% fine. My heart is now what it always should have been but never was. No more need for more surgeries, though I will need to see Nathan once every other month to check up on my health status just in case anything were to go wrong.

Suddenly, I was knocked off my feet and fell to the floor.

"Oh, I am so sorry!" I heard a voice say to me. "I wasn't paying attention. My bad."

I looked up to see who it was. It was Dean Ambrose.

"Oh no...it's fine. I wasn't paying attention either." I said.

I got on my knees and began to set myself back up on my feet. Dean assisted me with this.

"Lacey Winter." he said.

"Yes. But please, call me Chloe." I responded.

"And me Jon," he spoke. "Well, I have to go out now. See you around."

"Yeah. You too." I said.

After our brief conversation, I continued walking back to the locker room. This time, I was paying attention to where I was going and what or who might have been around me. Once there, I changed out of my ring gear and into a red knit sweater, black lace skirt, and beige faux suede low boots.

After changing, I walked over to the TV that was placed a short walk away from the curtains. On the TV, a match between Dean Ambrose and Kane. It was just starting when I became in eye contact of the screen.

_No. No, Chloe. You're supposed to be happy. _I suddenly said to myself.

I don't know what happened but all of a sudden, I had stopped thinking about the match and had started thinking...negative thoughts. I don't really know what else to say about it.

I ran into the Womens bathroom that was the door to the left of the Divas locker room. Thankfully, no one was there. I placed my back on the door as soon as I closed it. Then, I sat down, propped my knees up, and placed my head into my hands. I began crying.

The first few tears came out quietly. They started to get louder and louder with every second that passed by.

I tried to tell myself to think about what I did earlier. I tried to tell myself that I just performed my first match on WWE TV. That made me happy earlier, why wasn't it working right now? Why did I suddenly start feeling like this while I was watching the match?

Why this?

Why that?

Why did this happen to me?

Why did I never get any answers to these questions?

I'm not sure how long I spent in the bathroom, but it was long enough for people to do something that I never liked. It was long enough for people to start..._caring_ about me.

No. I don't like when people care about me. I don't like when people think about me. I think I would need to like me before I can feel comfortable with other people doing so.

I heard footsteps make their way to the door. I immediately put my hand over my mouth, forced myself not to cry, and began to wipe away some of my tears on my sweater sleeve.

There was a knock on the door.

_Oh no. Who could this be?_

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><p><strong>AN : I'll try to put a somewhat long story short here. I am not sure if I want to continue this. I am not sure if I want to continue writing. I have been feeling pretty on and off about this for some reason and i'm not sure what to do with this story. It sucks because I have so many ideas for it but I don't know why I never like them. I don't want to end it when it's barely begun but I also don't know if I want to continue writing. I'm pretty confused as to what to do with this right now.**


	4. Authors Note

**A/N :** This story will be put on hold temporarily. I don't actually know completely though. I don't know if I will be continuing this or if I do, when it will continue. So sorry to anyone who has read it so far and wanted to read more. I just need to figure some things out. Once again, this will be put on hold for a while. Thank you! -K


	5. Authors Note 2

I was just wondering if people would be interested if this story continues. I have been able to plan out more of the story but I don't know if I want to publish any of it and maybe people's responses would help me in deciding if I should or not.


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